I’m not much of a social butterfly at work (small talk is my kryptonite), though I do have a cherished friendship with one of my main coworkers. She’s incredibly patient and enduring in her work, and I’ve learned so much from her about work ethic and even life lessons beyond the workplace. We’ve gotten into numerous deep conversations about life, relationships, love, loss, etc., and her life experiences are chock-full of wisdom and valuable takeaways (she really needs to write her own book). Recently we got to talking about relationships and marriage, and I asked her for her best advice and tips on the subject based on her own life experiences and the different experiences she’s seen her family and friends go through. Our conversation ended up being one of my favorites, to the point where I started taking notes and just listened to her talk. I recently came across the page of notes I took during our conversation, and I wanted to compile all of it into a blog post as a permanent home for the words of wisdom and a way to easily share them. Here are some of her life and love tips. Although some of these points can easily be turned into books, I hope the succinct format will inspire you to adopt the advice into your own life.
- Always be true to yourself.
- Be able to take care of yourself– financially, mentally, emotionally.
- Your partner is the person they are. Don’t expect them to change.
- Your job is not to make your partner happy, it’s their own job (and vice versa).
- Be able and open to evolve together as individuals, in mindset and in personal growth.
- Have spiritual awareness.
- If possible, outsource things for convenience (ie. cleaning) to make more time for yourself and for your partner.
- Determine how your relationship/marriage will work for both of your lives as a partnership. Who’s best at doing what? Learn to delegate for efficiency and harmony.
- Don’t let anyone or anything break your bond with your partner.
- Love fully without any regrets.
- Communication is key.
- Don’t let your partner do everything for you (and vice versa).
- Know your purpose in life, have your space to explore your purpose and make sure your partner has the space to do the same.
- Be best friends with your partner.
- Be completely authentic.
- Set goals for your relationship- how you plan to evolve, how you will make commitments, and how you plan to achieve your goals together.
- Listen to understand, not to reply.
- Don’t assume your partner knows what you want or what you’re saying, and don’t expect them to read your mind or predict your feelings or actions. Communicate everything.
Relationships are a living and breathing organism, and they need time and attention in order to thrive. Tending to a relationship can be hard, but when both people are on the same page and want the same things for one another as a couple, it can feel like magic. I love soaking up this type of wisdom from others with different life experiences, and I hope to be sharing more content like this soon. In the meantime, I hope this inspires you to communicate, give, and love harder.
Born in Ukraine and raised in Chicago, Iryna takes pride in her Ukrainian roots. She loves writing, cooking (and eating) all kinds of food, pursuing new fitness trends, and exploring all things related to personal growth. She hopes this blog brings you value in one way or another and helps you to become a better version of you.